If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
