i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
