We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
