Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
