just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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