I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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