I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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