she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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