The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
