bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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