ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
