you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
