Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
