I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
