I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
