You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
