everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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