if only i could text you this smell
I wish you could order shots online.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
