Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
this will be a night to untag.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
