I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
