I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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