So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
