between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
