You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
