No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
