Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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