one might say we're banned from that church
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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