Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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