IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
