you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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