Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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