my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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