I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He shit in the fireplace
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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