I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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