she looked like the before picture.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
