Who wears a wallet chain?!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
