if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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