you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
