You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
