so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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