having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
