...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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