dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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