I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
