Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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