He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Still dying that you shit outside
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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