I'm eating all of the evidence.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
