You smell like stripper and shame
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
