i wish there were pregnant emoticons
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
