Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
