Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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