dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
