You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
