I cockslap morals
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
