2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
