Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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